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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

None of you will ever read this, and if it weren’t for this post question, I wouldn’t be thinking so much into it anyways.

The past few years have been lies. I felt like I had met great people and had made great caring life friends. I was always excited about monthly gatherings and their birthdays and talking about random things on the phone, on MSN. But in a blink of an eye, it’s all over. And no matter how much I cry over this issue or be sad about it, it’s not going to change the fact that it had happened and to know that I really didn’t have anyone on my side to begin with. I was really sad, and I felt really lonely and betrayed, but it’s been nearly half a year now and I think I’m really starting to feel better about all that’s happened. Sure, it lingers in my mind a lot, but then when I think logically, “friends forever” never happens. Nobody will waste time on someone they don’t care about; people drop each other like flies all the time. I am thankful for all the happy times, but then I really wish this would have happened to me sooner, that way I wouldn’t have to waste so much of my life on friendships that weren’t going to last.
And during all this, I really do I have to thank my loving boyfriend who was there for me during all the teary moments and all the heartache. He was the only one who was actually concerned and tried his best to talk to me and comfort me. No other friend did anything, but then again, you won’t understand the feeling unless you experience it for yourself. No one except for one co-worker who actually showed more concern than anyone else that I’ve known longer. I guess that really shows what kind of person I am as well. I’m not good with having close friendships, and you know, I probably won’t ever have any BFF’s in my life either. Life certainly has been a lot quieter than it had been before, and I certainly feel as though I myself lack a little happiness and enthusiasm that I had been filled with before. And I apologize to those who have been around me during these past 6 months; no one needed the non-uplifting presence. My phone doesn’t really ring anymore, and my inbox is just as boring besides being filled with nothing else but ads. However, despite everything, thank you all for doing what you did, I now realize who my true friends are.  There really isn’t a lot, but then now, I appreciate their existence in my life a lot more than ever. Thank you for the re-evaluation of my life.